More tales of the Open Learning Centre.

It is the new term, and for the first few days we are welcoming the new students, making them feel at home, and helping them to set up their passwords to enable them to log-on to the computer system.





Before this I have been explaining to them that:


1. Drinks may topple over the computer, short-circuit the mouse and fry the student to a crisp.
2. Crisps are not allowed in the OLC, nor any other edibles. Keyboards don't like them.
3. If you use MSN, Hyves, Party Floxx, Youtube or Facebook, you cannot go to heaven.


All went well for a few days, so well that I told the whole group that I was most impressed. "Last year", I said, "you could pick up a keyboard and shake the crumbs out of it. Like this!" I picked up the keyboard to demonstrate, but it wouldn't move. With much force, I managed to lift it with a sucking, squelching sound. There was a hamburger and a cheese sandwich underneath, that had been pressed flat. Both had been opened, and the ketchup, mayonaise, cheese and butter had spread out under the keyboard, into a thin keyboard shape. Groan. Later we found peanut butter sandwiches pressed into the gulf between the desks where all the cables run. On top of this mess, a tin of cola had been hidden. Upside down and not empty.


Back to normal!



Anyhoo, each new student gets a Student Number which is to identify them in the class and the computer system. The first day, they have to create a password, first identifying themselves to the computer by entering the Student Number and the postal code of the house where they live . Many had already forgotten the Student Number. Others did not seem to know where they lived. They then have to choose a Secret Question so that, in the unlikely event that they forget the password, the computer can ask 'What is your mothers maiden name' or 'What is your dog called'. "Mister, I haven't got a dog!". Another rushes out crying because her mother is dead. And she probably hasn't got a dog either. Another can't take it anymore and screams at the computer and has convulsions. "I can't take it! I got stress, I gotta get out of here! It don't like me". Eventually we get to the point of choosing the password. "Mister, it says my password is not acceptable! Help". We read together the Password Rules.


Does it have a minimum of 8 characters? 'Yes'.
Does it have at least one capital letter? 'Definitely'.
Does it have at least one number? 'Without a doubt'
What, pray, is your password? 'cat'.
Do we see where our password may have failed one or more of the Password Rules? 'Not really'.


I shall survive.