The Art Class - Jugs in Colour and the Live Model.

The Art Class has moved on. Having mastered the charcoal and the water colour we were informed by the Mistress that we were on the verge of a new stage in our development. I was summoned to Her presence. "Grasshopper, you have learned many things, but now you will face your dragon. One of you will consume the other, for so is it written. Today you will create, not with wood tempered by fire, nor with pathetic hues diluted with water, but with the full bodied robustiness of  - Acryl!. There can be no mistakes. Once applied, the Acryl cannot be undone. And you shall, in this most dangerous of tests, conjure for me an image of those things that are most dear to your soul. The Jugs!". The same set of battered coffee pots and other assorted vessels were brought out and we all started on the Acryl, a difficult medium that spreads out like butter but which goes hard quite quickly before you have quite finished poncing about with it and you are left with a scab  on your canvas. I had a bad viewpoint as the two little jugs were behind the big one, but as in golf, you play the ball as it lies. The Mistress Guru seemed quite pleased with our efforts and suggested that, as a reward, we might like to take a look at the Live Model, should we so wish. Should we so wish? Is the Bear catholic? Does a Pope crap in the forest? We (or at least the men) jostled outside the door marked 'Quiet please, Live Model Class'. A lady with a finger raised to her lips ushered us in to this holy place. We entered in a solemn file with eyes downcast, daring not to look, but our hormones overruled our manners. The Live Model, I observed with a tinge of unseemly disappointment, was fully clothed and had a bushy moustache. And was quite a fat chap .I nodded my approval at the ring of canvasses, some of which had him between a whale and a stick insect, and filed out again, mumbling 'bollocks' or some such epithet. Next week is the Christmas Holiday, which is as well, else Guru will probably want reindeer and snowmen, carol-singers and wise men.

Ho Ho Ho to all.